Seeing things differently
I was reading the other day about the Italian film director, Bernardo Bertolluci, who directed The Last Tango in Paris, The Last Emperor, The Sheltering Sky. He had had a fall, could hardly walk, was in a wheel chair and at 72 years old wasn’t sure if he was giving up film directing or if directing had given him up. But everything changed when instead of railing against his situation he accepted it.
And that is what I help people with – becoming aware that things can change. By seeing and feeling things differently, you will do things in a different way and be different. Actions flow by being aware that there are other choices.
I am not saying it is easy, personal development and change takes time. But if you feel that life isn’t right and you would like to see it differently and, if the will is there, then anything is possible.
I work with people who are stuck, at cross roads or time of change; people who need help at those changing times of career, relationships, children leaving home, health.
People often say ‘put it down to experience’, implying experience is bad. Experience can be good, a time of growth. Think of all the things that have happened that you could put down to experience. And if it hasn’t been so rosy, what have you learned from it? What have you gained? What has happened that wouldn’t have happened? If I hadn’t left my job, my partner walked out, children hadn’t left home, I hadn’t been ill? Yes, it was terrible at the time, but does it look different now?
Learn how seeing something in a different way can be. What do you really want to do next? If I could wake up in the morning and I could do and be whatever I wanted what would that be? (Dream and dream big, write everthing down). And is that what I really want? Will it make me happy/ life fulfilled? And is that what I really want? (Ask that question again and again) And what is the very first step I need to take?
If you find it difficult to dream and dream big. Write down how you would like to be remembered? List friends, your character, what you’ve done in work and in private, all the good things – and things you haven’t done but would like to do. Surprise yourself.
Bernardo Bertolluci has now directed another film, Me and You. That might never have happened if he hadn’t been aware of what he needed to do – and he probably had some new insight into the process while he was directing from a wheelchair.